Dissapointed

After 4 years, I seen much,
Those every true form in every single mask.
I feel like myself in a chess game,
And I am a pawn,
You can send me to my death,
You can chose to ignore me.
But let me tell you,
Never give me the chance to move,
If I move, you will become useless.

Time is short, less than half a year,
I want time to come fast, go fast.
I don't wish to suffer so much already,
Hurry come, I don't waste my time already.

STRESSFUL

Haiz.. even thought exam was over
But I don't seem to feel happier
I feel tired and stressful
1 more week till competition already
still haven start practicing
HOME NURSING ah... oh my god...you are choking me
Stuck with MSSM nowadays...
Duty for 5 days ah....skip tuition, skip class
haiz...is it worth it?

INJURED

(Sigh).........
I was damn exhausted nowadays,
And damn sick too.
In one week, i get the fever two time,
But i managed to stand strong and continue with my life,
Although life was tough, tired,
But i still have a little amount of strength left,
I will not give, i will not regret.

I hurt my right leg twice this week,
First time is when I play soccer with bare foot.
Get kicked two time by friend,
And get stepped by so many boots.
Then play basketball bare foot,
The skin on the bottom of my feet wore off,
And my ankle damn pain.
Still got marching competition coming soon,
Hope to recover as soon as possible.

NIGHTMARE

22 April 2011
Dear diary,
I keep having nightmare nowadays,
Fear...scare...
Fear of losing everything,
Scare to think,
Don't know when will the nightmare end,
Hurry please, I am scared...
I want to run away...
The road in front of me seem endless...
I am tired, but still not willing to stop running...
I fear of get left behind...
Please AWAKE...Please AWAKE


                                                         ~ Nightmare~

surrender

i never thought i would have this feeling again...
omg...what is wrong with me?
why am i feeling to give up?
because of him?
today i text with her
but the time i text her,
i have the feeling that she is avoiding me...
she need time, i give her time...
she need what, i give her what...
but she still not happy...
i surrender everything, to feel the chance to live again,
i hold her in arm, and i let go.........i surrender

我有走错吗？

我不知我有没有走错，
我现在选择的到底我会不会后悔？
我觉得我伤害了你。
对不起。
除了对不起我不知说什么好。
我不想看到你这样，
你一向来都很倔强的，我不想看到你自暴自弃，
我很伤心，
我望到你，我心会痛，很痛。
我很辛苦，看到你伤心。
别伤心了。
别伤心了。

End Well ^^

All well...End well...
It's the beginning of April,
Many things seems to change again...
Haha, feel the numbness in my head...
A sound in my head keep telling me..."you already did your best"...

Today i feel joy, I felt a feeling about my society...
A felling that was lost when I turned f2...
Feel like not all hope has lost...
I wish the flame in my members and me will never vanish...

As for myself, haha...
Haiz....
How should say, maybe I should just forget about it ...
Maybe we would be happier...
HAHA...I wish to seek a easier life...
I will try my best

I am out of my mind

I promised myself many time, NOT TO BE SO EMOTIONAL...
But somehow, I still manage to fail myself...
Is it so difficult?
What is my problem?
Seriously, I really need someone to help me with my stress problem...

I am damn headache nowadays, school problem is indeed choking me...

Competition is near, but no one is helping me, I am standing alone...

School got problem with our society, but no one seems to care...

MSSM duties is near, no one helping me? Why? Why?

Society assignment are pile up till the roof, but no one willing to help me,

but instead, they mocked me, they asked: " Why am I lying about myself of being busy? Why are you holding on to all the assignment? What your problem? Shoe polishing? "

Friends are quarrellings, "Why no one going to Enrollment? You all don't want other Youth come to our Enrollment?"

Exam is coming soon, everyday I study....am I too stress or what? I cant concentrate?

Headquarter keep calling me about this training, about that duty...I need to be alone...PLEASE!!!

And my jobs, it is killing me...I can't go to sleep everyday without wondering will I get fired tomorrow?

TIME...I NEED TIME....WHERE ARE YOU?

And last, I keep losing my sense of humor, I am happy and yet I am sad, I am excited and yet I am mad...

What do you want? What do you want and I haven't give you? I love you, I always do...

重新开始

转眼就月尾了，这个月可真难忘,，整个月里，喜乐无常，烦的烦，笑的笑，哭的哭。这个月是我一生内哭最多次的一个月。我不禁控制不到自己，我被我的情绪搞砸了。烦，我烦考试，又烦比赛，又烦成绩，又烦她。笑，为朋友而笑，为冠军而笑，为她而笑。哭，为成绩而哭，为家人而哭，为她而哭。真的好辛苦，我开始承受不住了。短短的一个月，竟然能玩糟我。我很想投降。我连找人述说都难，身边没错的确有许多人，但那个才能帮到我？这个月里，我想会许多以前做的事，我不知为什么我又流泪了？好烦，好累，我想重新开始。。。重新找回自己。。。

能吗？

February

Already another month already,
Already feel numb to all my stress problem already,
Don't know why,
I don't feel like myself existing?
Everyday, I always get command to do stuff,
Almost look like a tool already,
If not didn't join the first place,
I don't think there will be any problem in my life,
Why am I starting to regret?

Chinese New Year Celebration

28 January 2011
Today school was having CNY celebration,
When reach school, go room have some fun with my buddies,
Then is the calligraphy competition,
din't pay much attention on it..aiyah who care lah..also cant win de...lolx
then ponteng again...till recess...
after recess.. performance <3
enjoy watching it and booing it...lolx
go home at 3...
b4 go home mom force me to cut hair again...haiz...speechless jor...
really enjoy  ^^

Everything Back To Normal?

Everything seem to turn out okay already?
I stop thinking of it already,
I was relieves nowadays cause I finally could get some rest,
that <3 stuff already stop messing with me already,
I could say I am happy now,
But not fully recover lah,
But it is a start for me...

What a day

oh my gosh, so stressful today,
school hour, teacher gives tonnes of homework,
i keep doing keep doing but never finish.
after school, going to walk to tuition,
then received news go usst meeting,
wtf, no one inform me anything de?
after tuition, continue work.
finally, finished my work, wish to online for awhile,
received another news
they told us need to redo report bt tmr
again again again
work work work
omg, rush here, phone there, type here, print there,
tomorrow need to ponteng again to find teacher to explain.
damn, stressful..
i really tired now,but i dont dare to sleep cause i was having the bad dream again,
the moment XXX told me "cannot" =(
i am tired now, i wanna sleep,
what to do?
what to do?